Quote of the day

And if you think about it, all the major life events happen to people between the ages of 18 and 34.
-Dawn Ostroff, CW’s president of entertainment. (Wired magazine, Oct 2006, page 54)

So all the major life events are behind me! I’m apparently never going to die. Nor will I retire. And being born, first day of school, graduating high school… none of that was major. Of course she did lump graduating from high school in that age bracket. I guess she had trouble and had to repeat a year at some point, poor thing.

What a ditz.

[CW is the new network resulting from the merger between UPN and The WB.]

The Silmarillion

How long have I had The Silmarillion on my shelf? The copy I have is a bookclub edition printed in 1977. Why did I wait 29 years to read this book? It’s silly, really. I was so enthralled by The Lord of the Rings and JRR Tolkien that I wanted something of his to look forward to. It was like a sweet treat that I tucked away for a rainy day…and then eventually forgot about.

And now that I’ve read it…well, the candy accumulated bits of dirt and lint along the way, because, (I can’t believe I’m going to say this) it wasn’t that good. I mean don’t get me wrong, the stories and the mythology are wonderful, but the tales included aren’t written in a particularly good narrative style. It’s all told as a mythos, with very little dialog. We’re always hovering over the world, looking down at what is happening. And you can tell it was written to act as a kind of bible. As part of the creation myth for Middle Earth (actually, that is exactly what the first parts are).

I am glad I read it, but frankly just because now I know the myths myself. The actual act of reading it wasn’t particularly enjoyable (though I will say, it gets better the farther in you get). Rather than one big story there are a few separate volumes under one cover: Aunuliundale (The Music of the Ainur) starts it and is the tale of how the world was created. Valaquenta (Account of the Valar) is about the Valar and Maiar (gods and godlings, roughly) and of the one Valar, Melkor, who fell and was later called Morgoth. Among his servants was a Maiar named Sauron, and we know what ended up happening to him! These are both short works.

Next comes Quenta Silmarillion (The History of the Silmarils) which takes up the bulk of the volume and is mostly about the Elves. But…these elves are just as petty and impressionable as men are in The Third Age and it was rather disheartening to see them all squablling and going to war with each other and being manipulated by Morgoth. They weren’t very likable, most of them. Galadriel and Celeborn are in this story, not that they play a huge role, but it’s astounding to think of how long they’ve lived. Elrond appears near the end, too.

Then comes Akallabeth (The Downfall of Numenor) [forgive me for not chasing down all the appropriately accented characters here] which tells of the fall of the Numenorians as they, too, squabble and grow petty and allow themselves to be manipulated by Sauron. Last is Of The Rings of Power and the Third Age which very briefly tells the same tale as The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings only again, without dialog or characters to speak of.

This last bit fills me with awe. I imagine (and I’m probably wrong) that Tolkien wrote out his creation myths and then started telling stories based around them, starting with Of the Rings of Power… which he turned into Lord of the Rings. I just imagine what Quenta Silmarillion would’ve spawned if Tolkien had lived long enough to tell that tale in a more narrative format.

The Simarillion is of course required reading for devoted students of Tolkien, but the rest of you can safely pass it by and not worry that you’re missing out on anything nearly as wonderful as The Lord of the Rings is.

Yoga For Regular Guys

OK, so I have to admit I bought Yoga for Regular Guys (Yoga Babes Included!) half jokingly. I was looking in the yoga section for some kind of basic book that’d maybe teach me a few moves to help me get un-kinked. I swear as I get older I feel more stiff and brittle every morning.

Anyway all the books looked rather, ah, effeminate. But here was a yoga book written by a professional wrestler with a foreward by Rob Zombie and full of pics of hotties in yoga poses. How could I resist!? (I did end up buying a more ‘serious’ yoga book as well…I’ll be reviewing that at a later date.)

I sat down this afternoon and read it cover to cover and damned if I didn’t find myself getting motivated. Basically its a yoga workout aimed at both getting you stronger and more flexible. Diamond Dallas Page starts with the story about having mangled his back and being told he’d never wrestle again, and how his wife got him to try yoga, which led to him eventually getting back into the ring.

In addition to the exericises we get plenty of anecdotes and ‘real guy’ sexual innuendo about getting yourself a flexible yoga babe, and the models are an even mixture of hot babes and ‘regular guys’ demonstrating the moves. It’s all pretty good natured fun, but the workout seems real enough. I’ll let you know because I’m going to give it a go…

The book is a bit ‘padded’ in that the exercises are illustrated in both left and right handed positions and so forth, but at the same time this makes it easy to follow along without losing your place, so that seems like a wash.

No word yet on whether the regime is effective, but it was certainly an entertaining read, and yes, fairly inspirational. I’ll report back after I’ve done the beginner routine a couple of times.