So I was sitting at my computer tonight surfing around, not really paying attention to anything, when suddenly I heard the cat going crazy. I turn around to see a huge bug flying around the room and the cat trying to catch it.

But then I realize that this thing is way too big to be a bug, and finally my brain parses it… its a bat!!! Not a huge bat…maybe 6 inches from wingtip to wingtip. And its flying around in circles looking for safety while the cat runs around under it.

Now, I live on the 3rd floor of a 6 story building. I’m sitting in a studio apartment with all the windows closed and the air conditioning blasting. I am at a loss as to how to explain how this little bat got into my apartment. My best guess is that it somehow worked its way though the sashes…coming in through a gap at the top of the window, dropping down, the flying up the other side and squirming through a crack at the top on the inside. Either that, or it was some supernatural event.

Anyway…it took me a while to catch the wee thing (I got a bath towel and used it as an improvised net) and so I got to watch it for a long time. I saw its face as it flew past me again and again. And its outstretched wings. And the only thing that came to mind was… “What a cute little creature!” I guess bats are supposed to be scary or ugly…but it just looked scared and cute.

Eventually I got the towel over it and bundled it up gently and took it outside and set it free. It flew off, seemingly no worse for wear. I wanted to check it out up close but I wasn’t sure where in the towel it was and it got free before I could see it. Just as well, I suppose. It was scared enough as is.

Now I’m wondering if there’s such a thing as a pet bat… 🙂

OK, how incredibly freaky and sick is this?

Man Arrested For Allegedly Hiding In Women’s Toilet

In case you’re wondering, its a strange type of toilet…my guess is that there’s no plumbing at this rest stop so stuff goes into a storage tank underneath. This freak got into the tank so he could, well, get shat upon I guess.

Some little girl looked down into the toilet and saw a face looking back at her.

Takes all kinds, I guess… I shudder to even think about it.

If you’ve been playing a lot of Destroy All Humans and it’s making you paranoid, this should help put your mind at ease.

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OK, this is strange. And I’m not sure why we need to know this. Yet, I feel compelled to share it:
Orgasms: a real “turn-off” for women

Basically, some scientists did brain scans of women being stimulated in various ways and determined that all emotions turn off in a woman while she is having an orgasm.

Who the heck paid for this study!!?

Report: Five worst jobs for young workers – Jun. 9, 2005

My god, can we swaddle the world in any more layers of padding? Now they’re saying that lawn mowing is one of the 5 most dangerous jobs for teenagers.

“Working to help save for college, contribute to your family’s budget, or just to enjoy some spending cash is a great idea,” said Darlene Adkins, vice president for fair labor standards policy at the consumer organization. “But teenagers and their parents need to ask: is this safe work?”

The article goes on to say that more than 175 teens died on the job in 2001. I’d love to know what percentage of the teen workforce that represents. And in that same year, how many teens died while riding their bikes to a sporting event?

Cut the damned apron strings, will you America!?

So I’ve become a little bit addicted to Bawls Mints lately. And of course I went through all the obvious jokes, but eventually they wear off.

Anyway, they come in a metal tin, and I had a tin in my front pocket the other day. I was walking somewhere with a female co-worker and with every stride the tin shook, and the mints knocked against the sides.

“What’s that noise?” she asks me.
“Oh, that’s just my Bawls rattling.” I said.
“You’re disgusting!” she says, and hits me.

It took me a few seconds to realize what had upset her… 🙂

Now this kind of thing always frightens me:
Kansas looks at redefining science

Now I don’t want to get too deeply into theology here, since my own beliefs are ambivalent at best. But like the old separation of Church & State (itself eroding as of late) I think there needs to be a separation of Church & Science.

Why not offer theology classes where children can learn about “Intelligent Design”, and let the science classes keep teaching “Evolution”?

Kids get old fast these days; let them explore topics that they’re drawn to.

In the meantime, I’m going to thank Articulus (y’know, the being from Tau Ceti that created Earth) that I don’t live in Kansas.

Ok, so sometimes I obsess on the strangest things. But I’m telling you, the Mr. Clean Magic Reach bathroom cleaning gizmo is a miracle product! You simply have to get one, especially if you’re a guy. Because, as I was told my a female co-worker, “Guys don’t clean their bathrooms.”

It was hard to debate her because I do tend to let mine go too long between scrubbings, but no more! The Magic Reach is to your bathroom what Swiffer products are to the rest of your house. You have this base gizmo that looks vaguely like an iron with two pointy ends. You rip open a cleaning pad packet, and pull out this wet pad that wraps around the gizmo. And then you mop your floor (or walls, to sink or toilet) with it. It sneaks in behind the toilet bowl and the points get into corners. When you’re done (ie, in like 4 minutes) you pull the pad off, drop it in the trash and open a second pad. This one is more sudsy, and its for cleaning the tub and stuff. Scrub out the tub with it, and drop that pad in the trash too.

And you’re done.

Seriously, I’m a huge fan of convenience, and this thing really works and is super convenient. Guys, get one of these things and lets put an end to girls saying “Guys don’t clean their bathrooms” once and for all!!!

So I never got around to reading the Sunday New York Times last week. So today I was catching up, and I found it rather bizarre that in two consecutive Sundays, the times provided me with links to XXX sites.
[Note: Dragonchasers is normally a reasonable family-friendly site, but this post is intended for adult readers only. If you’re under 18, please refrain from clicking the following link.]
Continue reading “Feeling horny? Read the Times”